Days without Bejewelled - 7
And yet, there are times when the pull is still strong. Times when I can feel myself wanting to click that little button and play "just a few" games. Changing a habit - even one you know isn't good for you - is challenging. I don't envy the people who are working to quit smoking. Heck, I sympathize and no one has invented a gum or a patch that I can use to help my progress.
I've gotten some interesting comments, emails and facebook posts telling me to make sure I'm not removing all relaxing/fun from my life. Well, anyone who knows me will agree with what I'm about to say - NOT A PROBLEM :). Never has been - and probably never will be. I am not working toward an austere life of regimented time and productivity. I am simply looking at the ways I truly waste time and using it more wisely and in support of the dreams and goals I have (many of which are quite fun, thank you very much).
It's like cutting down on salt or sugar, as opposed to going off of them completely. I'm not eliminating fun, free time or play from my life. I am, however, looking to not let it be too large a part of my... time diet, let's say.
So, have I been more productive in the last week without Bejewelled?
Yes! I've been getting research done on literary agents so a manuscript proposal can be sent out again; I've done research for Mark's parent coaching business so he can offer his seminar "Raising Your Children Without Raising Your Voice" to local groups; and I'm doing my virtual assistant work for the School Libriarians Workshop and The Heart Matters. And I'm getting more reading done. I also started a blog under my pen name and I'm getting back into a daily writing habit.
Pretty good :)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Nice is different than good.
Days in a row without Bejewelled: 3
Yes, that opening it's a little Bridget Jones' Diary, but it's appropriate and I'm looking forward to seeing the number grow. And this blog is helping - when I feel the pull to those pretty colored jewels, I think about what I will need to write here, what I will need to own and I close the facebook page.
This week has been tough. I find that when I set big specific goals a week or two later I end up doing the emotional equivilent of hiding under the covers. I have trouble facing what I've set out to do as the goal looms large and uncomfortable. I've never been one to easily surrender to the process. Or even like the process, for that matter. According to my parents, I crawled for less than a week before I started working. I'm working to change over 40 years of habit!
But change is an interesting thing.
After posting the link to my first entry on Facebook, a high school friend of mine commented that she remembered our French teacher giving us an assignment of journalling our time over the course of a week to see how much time we wasted. She remembered us comparing notes and wrote it was "nice to see nothing has changed".
My first thought on reading that was "I'm not so sure what's nice about it." It wasn't a happy thought at all to think that I hadn't grown or changed since high school.
So I had to ask myself - has anything changed?
In some ways, I suppose it hasn't. I have lots of enthusiasm for projects at the beginning, and I'm great if/when it comes up to an actual deadline... but the middle? That remains a challenge - sticking with something passed the easily motivtated beginning and then finding myself in that awful frantic rush-to-the-finish mode. (This never seemed to be a problem for my high school friend).
Then again - things other things have changed. I am older, wiser and more familiar with the consequences of choices. My goals more are in tuned with both the long and short term. I have more support in my life then I did when I was younger. I am also more aware of making choices - both good and bad - and not simply being pulled along with the moment. And I have two amazing sons who, without knowing it, provide great motivation for living the life I say I want.
Because I don't want them to be working this hard to change a life time habits in their future.
Yes, that opening it's a little Bridget Jones' Diary, but it's appropriate and I'm looking forward to seeing the number grow. And this blog is helping - when I feel the pull to those pretty colored jewels, I think about what I will need to write here, what I will need to own and I close the facebook page.
This week has been tough. I find that when I set big specific goals a week or two later I end up doing the emotional equivilent of hiding under the covers. I have trouble facing what I've set out to do as the goal looms large and uncomfortable. I've never been one to easily surrender to the process. Or even like the process, for that matter. According to my parents, I crawled for less than a week before I started working. I'm working to change over 40 years of habit!
But change is an interesting thing.
After posting the link to my first entry on Facebook, a high school friend of mine commented that she remembered our French teacher giving us an assignment of journalling our time over the course of a week to see how much time we wasted. She remembered us comparing notes and wrote it was "nice to see nothing has changed".
My first thought on reading that was "I'm not so sure what's nice about it." It wasn't a happy thought at all to think that I hadn't grown or changed since high school.
So I had to ask myself - has anything changed?
In some ways, I suppose it hasn't. I have lots of enthusiasm for projects at the beginning, and I'm great if/when it comes up to an actual deadline... but the middle? That remains a challenge - sticking with something passed the easily motivtated beginning and then finding myself in that awful frantic rush-to-the-finish mode. (This never seemed to be a problem for my high school friend).
Then again - things other things have changed. I am older, wiser and more familiar with the consequences of choices. My goals more are in tuned with both the long and short term. I have more support in my life then I did when I was younger. I am also more aware of making choices - both good and bad - and not simply being pulled along with the moment. And I have two amazing sons who, without knowing it, provide great motivation for living the life I say I want.
Because I don't want them to be working this hard to change a life time habits in their future.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Why don't I consistently do what I know works?
I have written some great intentions for this year. I create them almost every year, and when I do, I manage to accomplish about 50-60% of what I want.
Which isn't too bad.
But it's not enough.
Because if I wanted only 50-60%, then that's what I would have written in the first place. Now, don't get me wrong - I know that if I didn't write them at all the end of the year would arrive, and I'd be no closer to anything specific (I've done that. It's not fun). However, I'm tired of getting to December and looking at my list thinking "Not bad, but, wow, it would have been REALLY amazing if I'd gotten all of this."
This year - I want it all.
I'm a bright woman and yet - I make some dumb decisions. A lot. I can look at past years and see that where I went "wrong" is no great mystery. I know what works, what doesn't, and where I can carve out more of what I want. And I find myself wondering a lot -- if I know what works what works for me - why don't I choose that more consistently? I dont have an answer for this yet. That will be part of the journey for this year, and this blog.
I do know one thing for certain that I want to change as quickly as possible - I dont use my time as well as I could. If I look at my week I could take back at least 5-10 hours a week if I:
* cut down on my time playing computer games. Bejewelled on Facebook is my worst time-sucking addiction. It's amazing how much time passes playing a game that only lasts a minute. (That's, of course, where the title of this blog comes from. I'm pretty certain that Nora Roberts does not waste her time on games the way I do.)
* go to sleep earlier at night and nap less. Taking 2-3 hours out of the middle of my day usually makes me end up feeling rushed and behind the rest of the time
* watch less television. I don't really need to watch movies I've seen so many times I can recite along with the actors.
And what would I like to do with that time?
- work on my writing both fiction and non-fiction.
- grow my writing coaching business,
- have more fun with my sons,
- scrapbook - I am frighteningly behind,
- and maintain a higher level of organization in my home
Doesn't that sound great? Yeah, it does to me, too. Now I just (just... HA!) need to take the responsibility to make the choices that support instead of sabotage me. I'm guessing it's not going to be easy, or I would have done it by now, but I'm certain it's going to be worth it.
Which isn't too bad.
But it's not enough.
Because if I wanted only 50-60%, then that's what I would have written in the first place. Now, don't get me wrong - I know that if I didn't write them at all the end of the year would arrive, and I'd be no closer to anything specific (I've done that. It's not fun). However, I'm tired of getting to December and looking at my list thinking "Not bad, but, wow, it would have been REALLY amazing if I'd gotten all of this."
This year - I want it all.
I'm a bright woman and yet - I make some dumb decisions. A lot. I can look at past years and see that where I went "wrong" is no great mystery. I know what works, what doesn't, and where I can carve out more of what I want. And I find myself wondering a lot -- if I know what works what works for me - why don't I choose that more consistently? I dont have an answer for this yet. That will be part of the journey for this year, and this blog.
I do know one thing for certain that I want to change as quickly as possible - I dont use my time as well as I could. If I look at my week I could take back at least 5-10 hours a week if I:
* cut down on my time playing computer games. Bejewelled on Facebook is my worst time-sucking addiction. It's amazing how much time passes playing a game that only lasts a minute. (That's, of course, where the title of this blog comes from. I'm pretty certain that Nora Roberts does not waste her time on games the way I do.)
* go to sleep earlier at night and nap less. Taking 2-3 hours out of the middle of my day usually makes me end up feeling rushed and behind the rest of the time
* watch less television. I don't really need to watch movies I've seen so many times I can recite along with the actors.
And what would I like to do with that time?
- work on my writing both fiction and non-fiction.
- grow my writing coaching business,
- have more fun with my sons,
- scrapbook - I am frighteningly behind,
- and maintain a higher level of organization in my home
Doesn't that sound great? Yeah, it does to me, too. Now I just (just... HA!) need to take the responsibility to make the choices that support instead of sabotage me. I'm guessing it's not going to be easy, or I would have done it by now, but I'm certain it's going to be worth it.
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